There are a few near-universal truths in gaming. Anything developed by Blizzard or Nintendo will sell more than you thought, message boards are a place to discuss which console is best, and movies and games don't normally get along too well. Sure there has been the occasional good game tie-in for a movie, and the first Resident Evil wasn't entirely unwatchable. But for the most part, movies based on games and games based on movies are awful. Which is why I find it so surprising when news pops up about an excellent game being adapted for film, and people actually get excited.
The two most recent examples of game-to-movie adaptations are BioShock and Uncharted: Drake's Fortune. But let's really think about those two games for a second.
BioShock was a creepy shooter that gave players access to a wide variety of different powers and the ability to explore a unique setting. The two greatest strengths of BioShock were the world of Rapture and the moral decision to either save or harvest the Little Sisters. Now how exactly would those things translate to film? Obviously viewers can't make any sort of moral choices, so that's out. And while it would be cool to see the crumbling ex-utopia of Rapture on the big screen, it wouldn't be the same. Most of the story in the game was told organically, through the environment, something that just doesn't work in a movie.
BioShock was a creepy shooter that gave players access to a wide variety of different powers and the ability to explore a unique setting. The two greatest strengths of BioShock were the world of Rapture and the moral decision to either save or harvest the Little Sisters. Now how exactly would those things translate to film? Obviously viewers can't make any sort of moral choices, so that's out. And while it would be cool to see the crumbling ex-utopia of Rapture on the big screen, it wouldn't be the same. Most of the story in the game was told organically, through the environment, something that just doesn't work in a movie.
As for Uncharted, well let's just say we've already had four Indiana Jones movies. And while the quality of those movies has diminished with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, an Uncharted movie would almost certainly be a low-grade Indy knock-off.
The thing we need to accept is that like most novels, the majority of games are simply unfilmable. The differences between the two mediums are just too great for a game to be adapted successfully without drastically changing it. And even when filmmakers do that, it still ends in disaster. The quintessential example, of course, it the Super Mario Bros. movie. It somehow managed to turn the simple story of a short New York plumber who saves a princess while riding a dinosaur and it make it even more batshit insane. Yoshi became a baby velociraptor. (Seriously.) Toad was a street performer. (Seriously. Again.) And Bowser was Dennis Hopper in a suit. (Seriously. Seriously Seriously.) To put it mildly, the movie was a mess.
I really hope that the BioShock and Uncharted movies aren't made, because there are few things worse than seeing a great piece of entertainment marred by a terrible remake or adaptation. Michael Bay has already done it to my beloved Transformers, so I'd rather not have my favorite games ruined as well. But just between you and me, a Shadow of the Colossus movie would be awesome. Guillermo del Toro, get on it.
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